WE DON'T HAVE TO TAKE OUR CLOTHES OFF

In the era of Tinder, Grindr and Chappy what happened to the good old values?

Living in the fast lane has transformed us people to a superficial humankind looking for the easy way out of the problems. No, it’s not just once in a blue moon and it affects our lives. Our. I am not excluding my self because I have found me falling in the same loop of a quick fix. 

How many times have you said, “I can’t be asked to cook, I'll just get a sandwich.” I am going to sleep without making any effort and the next morning I stop by the M&S at the arrivals to get my food before boarding the aircraft for work. When I realised that I wouldn't dedicate 30 minutes of my time for myself to prepare a meal, kinda hit a spot in me and made me think “Is this where we’re at? Not sparing some time for ourselves?” 

I believe this is how the quick fix lifestyle affects us without realising it and progressively we are becoming so used to it we don't even realise how wrong it is. Think of all the aspects of your life and you'll see what I'm talking about. Relationships are one big fat example that made its way down the hill pretty quick.

Now, I am not one to hide away from the spotlight, me and dating apps go a long way back. Over the time I have tried quite a few including the ones named earlier. I have had good and bad experiences, I’ve met some incredible people and we ended up forming relationships nonetheless I've met some odd ones too. I never deleted the apps if I am being completely honest but I hadn't been using them for months due to my busy schedule. I was so tired from work the last thing I had in mind was to meet new people, so I just let the apps sit there getting all dusty. Recently though I thought I'd give my dating life another go.

One night stand, NSA, not looking for something serious. Three incomplete sentences summarising everyone’s quest. A quick fix to loneliness that will only last a couple of hours and then an Uber back home to avoid the walk of shame. Two big questions come straight to my mind. How and when. How did we become so insensitive to consider sex a quick fix? When did we “evolve” from making love to a one-off and think is okay? 

It scares me. The fact that we have become so shallow. Not making an effort to know each other and we are fine by jumping into someone’s bed for a couple of hours shaking off what happened straight after. Why have we build up walls so high to protect us from feelings? I don't know if it’s denial to accept there might be something more or the fear of a potential heartbreak. 

And then it’s me. Here I am standing by what I believe. We don't have to take our clothes off. Let me take you on a date and chat over a glass of wine. Get to know each other, share interests and be mesmerised by each other eyes. I want us to laugh and talk loud like there’s one else in the room. You and I having a moment. Is it too much? 

I want us to end the night with a kiss and take separate ways. Go to bed and think about you, how you made me feel and how I would love to see you again. Let’s spend time together and give ourselves space to miss each other, making my urge to see you again even stronger, not leaving my thoughts. I want our lips to touch and give me the chills because I’ve been dreaming about this moment. Let me show you how we can have fun whilst dressed and when the time is right we’ll undress each other and one kiss will lead to a soft touch. Let’s make love, not sex. Let’s sleep in each other arms and listen to our breaths synchronise. Let's wake up and cook breakfast, then kiss goodbye. Let’s take our time, no one is rushing us. 

Sounds old school, doesn't it? Too good to be true. It reminds of a movie in black and white yet I still believe it’s going to happen. Maybe that’s my problem, maybe I am too much of a day dreamer and I've lost the train to reality. We shall see my sweetie darlings. I am either going to fall from my little cloud and land hard on the concrete floor or…